The Foundation #Day1

 THE FOUNDATION

     

       The first can always bring new emotions as to what you are going through. Its a new experience, that makes you wonder in the  meantime of not doing "Can I truly accomplish this?" The truth of the matter is, you can, and you will. "This is the beginning of your journey!" the soul says unto your body. "What journey?" is the response blurted amongst the many voices you have inside of you wondering what they missed. What they missed were life, valuable moments that you have habitually thrown away. Moments that decayed in YOUR WEAK SPIRIT!! "Grow some fucking balls and fight!!!!!!!!!!!!" Now your fully engulfed in full blown dialogue with self. "You know they don't respect your kind out there, look at this magazine, your favorite actor, or this tv model!" NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!! Your totally in denial thinking you have a grip, meanwhile your stuffing your face and not even realizing what the hell your doing. Your lying to yourself HABITUALLY at that. Your mask is going to be the death of you. Its not about people killing you off, because they are basing your destiny from what they SEE!. "Nigga we fucking see you fat ass, you cant hide truth, IT FUCKING SHOWS!!!!!" Eyes can tell you much when you look directly into them, so you tilt your head, you look at the sky, you look at the ground and run your eyes far away. Today, yes today is the day you should stop running, because sooner or later you shall reach a dead end. DEAD END!!!!!!!!!! Every man has to face the steps, the walk, the judgement, the decision. We are here for purpose, I myself am starting to learn mines. Though not the popular choice, I will fight for it. A Life without INTELLIGENT RISK (Dream chasing, school, the best job verses the norm, PRESIDENT, etc) what ever is yonder on the wild side basically, is a life unfulfilled. Your foundation creates the pathway. Once you understand what you want from yourself you become a DESTINY FULFILLED!!!!!! Your full of life, you have have a heartbeat in the chest of your ego, bump bump bump bump................ You have the get up and go. You see you have the power to change yourself............. You can switch your inner conversations, and calm your self doubt. REWRITE your history of lies and gift of gab, and replace it with fact. There was a girl I know, her name is Tuesday...... Went to school together, she was a chill girl fun spirited, but then one day something she went through caused her to change. Man she totally transformed her life, imagine what her inner conversations where during her struggle. You think it was easy for her???? LOL, I've used every excuse in the book to try and fight against what i truly wanted to do. You want to rewrite history of lies and bullshyt, where heres the fact. Niggas cant touch me, im fat, but flashy, im sexy for real, im cute and charming, ladies love me (no disrespect), its truth. I totally refused to love me, cause i could weeded out a lot of bogus ass motherfuckers that played me, laughed at my dreams, and pulled me down. My own fucking cuzzo, suppose to be my bro huh, lol nigga couldnt with stand me talking to him and telling how i felt. Had I loved me early i coulda avoided him, and anyone soft enough to not take criticism. BUT HOW??????????? My soul screams at me "you cant take criticism at all." "You ran and hid from everything people have ever said to you, or giving to you in advice." "Rebel??????? Your a fool chasing fools gold and you know it, but I know because I AM YOU, so fool them as long as you want as long as your heart knows,you shall fail!" Those are my facts, some of my vicious inner truths, but most already knew, or maybe they didnt. Why Have i blogged this???? look at your average Grade School Philadelphia coming up, look at them looking like me. This is my fault, why you ask??? Picture this, a kid eats lunch, he's already big and depressed, "Hey fat ass, u know u want 20 burgers and life time of fries, you probably can eat out McDonalds fat ass. HHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, Ohhhh that fat nigga cant see his dick or toes, lol, fat stanking nigga. You cooked him nigga, he home crying right now. Good job dawg, ima cook him tomorrow." Ok so that excerpt is the average life of a fat kid, especially one who cant joke, he absurbs this pressure, no support at home, no true friends to get in his ear (Nothing to do with me, just life). Imagine what hes doing on the sneak, while he is walking home, imagine what his methods are, no talking about it, over eating to compensate, hes hurt. He smiles it off, cries about it at home. Some contemplate suicide, some get larger. Its a addictive state, and depressing one. Mix addiction and depression, you have Philadelphia USA and elsewhere. So back to why this is my fault, I knew how to joke, fight back, at first I was really hurt by some of those jokes, but developed tough skin (The worst thing to do). So im 26 still big as fuck, ok think what that little young buck sees as we cross, he probably thinks damn well he made it through, i wont sweat it. WRONG!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I fucked up, look at what happens. After a while habits are hard to break, if they can be broken at all. This is the beginning for me, its my truth, my FOUNDATION............................... My descend from my high horse to reality, life is short, and i continuously make it shorter, not only for myself but the young ones. I have to lead by example, which is why Operation "Do Well" is more than album, but something I really need to focus on for myself and others for the next few months. However it starts with me, so two capital II's let me pause me............................................ FOUNDATION!